‘Hello Naya’, he said, with his strong British accent. The next thing I heard myself say was ‘Who’s this?’. I didn’t plan that lie o, but my smart subconscious always takes pre-eminence. Since the plan was to let Lade think I was not that into him, that was a very good response for him. Men like Lade tend to think that woman are impressed by them and what they represent, so when a woman isn’t smitten by them, they see her as a conquest and try to conquer her. Since I wanted to be Lade’s woman, I had to make it look like I wasn’t interested so that he would up his game and try to conquer me. Then I will enter formation like I want and uncle will think he won me over by himself. Am I a genius or what?
As I am never wrong, Lade went all ‘you didn’t save my number? Can’t you remember me? We met on your way to Quilox yesterday’. Then my memory miraculously returned. ‘Oh Lade, I’m so sorry. I thought I saved your number. How are you?’. We talked for a bit and he wanted to take me to lunch that afternoon. I told him I had business to attend to and I couldn’t fix him into my schedule for the day. Just imagine it, me, an ordinary student, having busy schedule and not having time to hangout with a rich man. How won’t he desire me more? He went on to say how disappointed he was and I told him I was going to make up for it during the week, by bringing lunch to his office. Then I brought up his fiancée. I needed to find out more about that one, location, dispensation, everything. Whether she was like all those crazy girls that don’t let their men breathe and can send Bariga boys after any other babe the man is seeing. Lade told me the girl wasn’t in the country as she lived in the abroad. Ope o. I had free access to this one. Nobody will take his phone and be sending me death threats. We talked about random stuff for a few more minutes before he hung up.
I stayed in my room for a bit and gisted my roommates about how my night went. Of course I didn’t tell them about Lade. Those girls with eyes like Halogen lamp. They will just take my phone, steal his number and take my place in his life. I couldn’t let that happen. The only person that knew I had met Lade was me, and I was going to take that knowledge to the grave. After giving them the gist I had invented and spiced with maggi and pepper, I made a pack of noodles for lunch. From that moment, I had to eat in small quantities. There was no way I was going to add weight and lose my coke bottle shape, at least not after hitting a jackpot like Demilade. After eating, I set out again. I was going back to the island to buy my weave before I used the money to buy something that will not benefit my ministry. If I was going to seduce Lade that week, I had to take my time to put things in place, before the engine of the plan will knock. I got to the hair store, purchased the weave and went straight to my stylist to get it installed.
This rubbish stylist took 10 years to install the weave after first wasting time on other people’s heads. When he finally finished, I went back to my hostel, gathered my books and went to read. At least I am still a student and if side chick hustle no pay, book hustle go pay. My mind was not even in the book as I was thinking of you know who. When I was tired of deceiving myself, I packed my books up and went to Ozone to see a movie. I needed to stop thinking about my mission and what better way than to see the movie. On my way out of the cinema, Lade messaged me to find out how the work I said I had to do was coming along. I was first scared when I saw the message because I thought he might have seen me somewhere around and he had messaged me to see the nonsense I was going to reply. Thank God he didn’t. I would have looked like a complete fool. I replied his message and asked for his office address for me to bring his ‘food’. He sent it to me and joked about how eager I was for him to taste my cooking that I was already asking for office location so I could bring my food to him. This one doesn’t know I want to pay a surprise visit on Tuesday. I was going to show up in his office wearing no underwear, give him hot sex and go my way. Unless my father is not Nwokedi, he won’t call me back. Only for me to reach my hostel and there was trouble. The worst had happened.