Side Chick Wars- S1E16

When I woke up, I replayed the events of the previous day in my head. The day that my life would change had finally come and I had developed cold feet. Before this Onome situation, I didn’t ever see myself dating a married man, not to talk of one with a side chick already.

I had always been one to condemn side chicks. But today, I was about to throw caution to the wind and sleep with a married man. Onome was about to take a promise away from me like she had taken everything.

A body I was proud of had become a thing of shame, all because I made one silly statement and was trying to keep to my word. I had spent thousands of naira going under the knife, because I wanted to please a man that belonged to two women already.

I looked at Fayo who was snoring away beside me and wondered whether she was actually my friend. A sane friend would have discouraged me from taking revenge and convinced me to forget about Onome and her wahala. But Fayo had succeeded in filling my head with ideas and had pushed me to do things I never thought of I’d do.

Then my evil genius mind took over from my conscience. Onome was the devil and she had to be taught a lesson. I was doing everything just to teach Onome a lesson and nothing else. Fayo was a wonderful friend for being with me throughout the whole time and helping me achieve my mission.

At this point, I was sweating profusely. A battle was going on in my mind. I was torn between two extreme opposites. My church mind was telling me not to go through with it and my world mind was encouraging me to forge ahead. I thought about the implications of whatever would happen that day.

If I pulled through successfully, I’d have conquered Onome with a huge bank account as an added advantage. If I didn’t go through with it, Onome would only make my life more miserable and probably get me sacked.

While I was arguing with myself, Fayo woke up. She dragged herself out of bed and went to the bathroom.

“Why are you up so early?” She walked back into the room.

“Well I slept early. It’s only natural that I wake up early.” I answered flatly.

“Ok o. Let me still sleep small before 6.” She lay down.

“6? Are we not jogging this morning?” I asked.

“Jog ke? Abeg abeg. We’re going to the gym straight. Before sweat will spoil your make up.”

“Fayo! Make up ke? For what again?”

“You want to go there looking like skreps?” She enquired.

“About that. Babe, I don’t think I can go through with this o.”

Fayo stared at me long and hard. She expression was a mix of shock and anger. She looked like she was going to give me a heavy brain resetting slap.

“What do you mean by that? We’ve put in so much to get here.” She finally found her voice.

“Well you have. I’ve just been agreeing to everything. This is the first time I’m actually thinking about it. I don’t want to be this woman I have become Fayo. I feel like I’m in another body, another mind. This is not me.”

“I know you have cold feet about doing this. You just need to breathe and take it all in. You can do it.” Fayo rubbed my shoulder.

“No Fayo. I can’t do it. Imagine you’re Badmus’ wife, how would you feel?”

“Well neither of us is his wife. So I cannot imagine it. It’s not me that said the man should be keeping side chicks.” She fired.

“Whatever. I don’t feel comfortable with this, that’s all I’m saying. Ok, what if his wife finds out? What am I going to do?”

“Nothing now. She’s not your problem. She’s Badmus’ wahala. Abeg, this matter should not be taking sleep from our eyes. It’s not that hard, it’s just a relationship. Nobody said you should kill him.” She lay down back.

“All I’m saying is I’m not comfortable with it.”

“You think we’re all comfortable with the things we do? Darling, the scariest things in the world are the best things. Take a deep breath and enjoy the moment. Get into it first before you decide whether you’re comfortable or not.”

As soon as she finished her statement, the alarm rang. It was 6am.

“Oh God! See now. This your madness didn’t let me sleep.” She exclaimed.

“What have I done now?” I asked.

“It’s time to start preparing for the gym now. I couldn’t get extra sleep. Thanks to your worry. Go and bathe joor.”

I stood up and dragged myself to the bathroom. I took my bath with the favor soap after a little skepticism. I was done in a few minutes, came back into the room and wore my new lingerie and gym clothes.

Fayo applied light make up for me and we joked about how I looked like one those girls who jogged on the bridge with full face beat. When we were done, I rubbed the attraction oil on my chest and forehead and I was ready to go.

“Christ! We forgot about your hair. That’s how it would have scattered everything we have worked for.” Fayo exclaimed as we walked out of the room.

My hair was weaved in cornrows and it looked terrible because I had been carrying it for weeks. Fayo dragged me back into the room and picked out one of her wigs for me. It was a bone straight wig that felt as smooth as silk. It fitted perfectly and I loved how it looked on me.

I was finally ready to go and Fayo looked at me with satisfaction.

“This is what the bible meant when it said, ‘God looked at what he had done and saw that it was good.’ Baby girl, you’re popping. Badmus doesn’t know what is about to hit him.” She said triumphantly.

I was so excited. Well that changed when I got to the gym and jammed another wahala.