I didn’t meet Demola waiting to tear my head down but I met Salewa, sitting quietly in my chair and fiddling with her iPad. My eyes caught her as I was rushing into the office and immediately they did, I started retracting my steps. I wanted to go to the bathroom and think of what to do to avoid her but unfortunately, she rotated the chair and her eyes caught me.
“Ahan Uno, is that you? Why are you running eh?” She called out so loudly that at least three people heard her.
I knew what she was doing, she must have somehow figured out that I had too much fun and she couldn’t wait to rub it in my face.
This girl is definitely a witch because it’s only witchcraft that enables people do the kind of things she does.
I took a deep breath, put on a smile and walked to my desk.
“Why are you in my chair please?” I asked with the most sarcastic smile ever. I already knew the answer to my question.
“Good morning to you too my dear friend.” Salewa smiled at me.
Urghhh!!! She was not going to let me win.
“Can you please get up so I can start my day?” I pleaded, even though I knew she wasn’t going to move an inch till I told her about the meeting.
When she didn’t budge, I asked again, more politely this time, praying in my heart that she would budge and let me off the hook easily.
“If you know you want to start your work on time, you better start telling me what happened yesterday.” Salewa warned her.
“I’ll tell you after now. Demola will walk in at any minute and he’d be mad if we’re playing cat and rat this early.”
“What’s my own with Demola? Is it Demola that employed me abi I employed him? My friend you better talk because even God himself will not move me from this chair till you give me every single detail.”
“Salewa there are no details. I just had a meeting with the man, nothing else.”
“If I slap you, you will open your mouth and talk. Do I look like Bena that will swallow whatever you say hook, line and sinker? You better start confessing before I change it for you.” Salewa retorted. She was not having any of it.
Who was I to think that I could run for Salewa Okafor? I still insist that she belongs to a coven. There’s nothing anybody can tell me.
I proceeded to tell her about the meeting cum date I had with Fola and trust Salewa, she didn’t fail to exclaim loudly at almost everything I said, even when it was absolutely unnecessary. She laughed hard when I told her I fell flat on my face and in turn, blamed her for picking out the shoes that made her trip.
See what I said? A witch!
Now instead of me to shut up and end it there, I went ahead to tell her how Fola had been a gentleman that evening and that we were even seeing that afternoon. Knowing Salewa, a smart person should have kept that information from her but was I smart? Obviously not!
This woman cackled like a witch, so loudly that the whole office looked at us, wondering what we were up to again. It was getting a little annoying being the center of attention all the time but did Salewa care? No.
“Why are you laughing like a mad woman biko?” I rolled my eyes.
I thought she would take my question as a cue to stop but she didn’t. She didn’t stop till she had broken the funny bone in her body. When she finally stopped, she answered,
“So after all your gra gra and strong head, you had liver to smile with him abi? Was it not you who didn’t want to go out with him? Now you’re here singing his praises. Well done o, well done.” Salewa teased.
“Abeg It’s not my fault. The guy was extremely rude the first few times. How was I supposed to know that he wasn’t such a bad person?” I had to defend myself.
Wait o, was I accepting that he was not as bad? What was wrong with me???
“Shut up jare.” Salewa hissed. “Be giving excuse up and down. You’re still here forming bad guy when we both know that you like this guy. It’s like you’ve forgotten that I know you like the back of my hand.” She said.
I hate that this babe is not lying. Urgh.
“Aunty I don’t like him. I’m just relieved that he isn’t such a terrible person, at least working with him won’t be so bad.”
Liar liar pants on fire.
“Be deceiving yourself there.” Salewa hissed.
“Can you get out of my chair now? I have work to do.” I wasn’t going to let her keep going on and on.
She laughed and stood up.
“Lover girl, sit down o. Kú isé.” She stepped out of my way.
She sized me up and down as I took my seat. Then she noticed my dress.
“Wait o, I’ve never seen this dress before. Is it new?” She asked wide eyed.
Immediately it clicked, I slapped her hand away and told her it was not a new dress, that I didn’t wear it often. Alas, it was too late. She had seen the tag.
I wanted to deny it but before I could say anything, she was checking the label area at the neck. Salewa knew me too well and that meant that she knew that I always forget to take off the tags from new clothes before wearing them.
“Liar! This is a new dress Uno. You have never worn it before and I can even smell the freshness. Is that how much you like him? To the extent that you’re dressing up for him?” Salewa was shocked.
“We..ll…” I stuttered.
“The likeness has made you a stammerer too?” Salewa laughed again as she went to her chair
I hate this babe!
I hoped that was the end but I was wrong. My hopes were dashed when Salewa noticed my red lips and started laughing again, this time, harder than before.
I ignored her, pretending it didn’t get to me but I was worried. Was I turning into something else because of Fola? Heii God!!! Where did all my hard guy go? In less than 24 hours?
“You’re even wearing red lipstick to work. Aahhh! Lobatan! It is finished o. Sister girl, you’re on a journey of no return.”
A call from Demola interrupted my thoughts. He was walking to his office when he asked me to follow him. I knew he was going to ask how my dinner meeting went and I definitely couldn’t give him the real details of the meeting. How was I going to tell my boss that a meeting set up for me to discuss business suddenly turned to a first date?
Why am I calling it a first date? Jesus!!!
I resolved not to tell him anything concrete so he would not start thinking I was up to something funny.
We got into his office and after I had shut the door and taken a seat, he asked how my meeting went.
“Ehmm, we didn’t talk much about the campaign sir.” I said.
“Why?” He asked.
“I had barely started talking about the project when Mr Alakija was called for something very urgent, so we rescheduled for today. I’ll call them to confirm the time.”
A lie, I know. But what should I have told the man?
“Ok then. Keep me up to speed on everything that happens and carry your team mates along.”
“Actually sir, Mr Alakija says he doesn’t like the idea of meeting with everybody at once. He prefers to have one on one meetings with me.” I explained.
I sounded like I didn’t want any other person from the office to make contact with Fola. Which was obviously not true.
Of course I’m lying. I’m keeping the man.
“Whatever rocks his boat. Just make sure everyone is up to date. I want a weekly update on everything that goes on, is that clear?”
“Yes sir.” I said.
“Good then. You can go.” He said.
I went back into my shared office and as usual, Salewa was waiting to hear what had transpired between Demola and I. Before I could say a word, my phone rang. I picked it up from my desk and looked at my screen. It was and unfamiliar number and I wasn’t ready for what the caller had to say.