Hi. My name is Naya. But my parents call me Ifunaya and I hate it, but I dare not correct them. They will kill me. I am 23 years old. Beautiful, brainy and a body to die for. I am a recent graduate of Mass Communications from the prestigious University of Lagos. I am going to take you on an interesting journey, one that earned me the title, ‘The Lagos Side Chick’.
I entered Unilag in 2012, as a proper ajebo. Having gone to one of the best private schools in the country. My parents wanted school to ‘pass through’ me and decided that I should stay in a hostel. I was irritated man. The hostel was not the greatest. There were people from different social classes- the ‘ajebos’ (like me), the ‘razzites’, the wannabes… You would find anyone you wanted in a Unilag hostel. I was on ground floor with mostly final year girls, so I would usually go upstairs to stay with my mates. I was always the star amongst them because they seemed to be fascinated by everything about me. How I used to buy all my meals and wear new clothes almost everyday. I became friendly with these two girls- Ruby and Victoria.
Ruby and Victoria were 100 level students like me, but way older. So to me, I was in the ‘right’ crowd. We would go to school together, study together, go to clubs together (even though I would sleep throughout). Then they started taking advantage of me. Using sense to make me pay for everything. Me I kuku knew what they were doing, I would just shove it aside and be the ‘bigger’ babe. I had attention from many guys, especially the friends of my friends’ boyfriends. But as a smallie, I didn’t pay too much attention to them, till I got to 200 level.
2014 was the year for boys and I. I would go out with most of the guys who asked me out. Then stop talking to them when they started to bore me. Most of these boys were young just like me, at most 25 years. To me, they had nothing to offer. I am a very greedy person by nature. I would see babes driving flashy cars on campus and would get so jealous. As my father wouldn’t give me a car and I didn’t have liver to do runs, I just maintained my lane and watched from afar, managing my 10 10 kobo boys. They would bring chicken and chips for me and just when I was feeling like a star, a big fish was buying a girl a car. That was how it all began o.
In 300 level, I started searching for a rich boyfriend. In my mind I was like ‘Where do they keep all these rich men that girls go to collect?’. I asked my friends and those ones told me to follow slay queens on Instagram, bleach my skin to look like theirs, have weaves of different nationalities and clothes from different designers. I kuku couldn’t bleach my skin and I didn’t have enough money to buy weaves or designer clothes, my allowance wouldn’t let me be great. So I went to Instagram to see what I could find, messaged a few slay queens but nobody answered me. I would read stories about girls going on expensive vacation courtesy of a rich boyfriend or getting car gifts for their birthdays meanwhile I was getting bottles of perfume as birthday gifts. I mean it would have been more consolation of they weren’t Aba made designer perfumes. It pained me ehnn. Because on a normal day, I was more beautiful and way sexier than most of these girls. Then I decided to retreat and strategize, after all I didn’t come to Lagos to count bridge and since I am jollof, not white rice, there had to be a way out…