She pushed the attraction oil I had set on the bedside table down, breaking the bottle and spilling its content in the process. We stared at each other for a few seconds and I rushed towards her to salvage what was left of the bottle’s contents. In the little commotion, I risked upturning the table with the rest of the kayanmata.
“See what you have caused now.” Fayo shouted as she picked up the pieces of the broken bottle.

“Excuse me, how is this my fault? Didn’t you just push the table?” I fired back.

“Well if you didn’t give me such a scare, I would have woken up like a sane person.”

“How did I give you scare?” I asked in confusion.

“You’re the one who shook me saying we were late. Were you expecting me to wake up like a princess after hearing I was late for work?”

“Did I say you were late for work? I was waking you up so we could go jogging.”

“Wait o, you woke me up from my beauty sleep and scared me to death, just because we were late to go jogging?”

“Aunty, you said jogging time was 5am. As I woke up late and noticed you were still sleeping, I decided to wake you up. What crime did I commit?”

“You could have tapped me like a normal person.” She rolled her eyes.

“Wait. What kind of baseless argument is this?”

“Do I know for you? When you will be behaving like a mad woman.”

“Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are. So congratulations Aunty, you’re mad.”

“I am not your friend o. Abeg. I am just helping your life. If they ask for your friends outside, don’t call my name. Tell them Onome is your friend. Thank you.”

“You’re mad.” We both laughed.

“Oya what are we going to do about the attraction oil? And I wanted to use it today o.”

“You will still use it na. It cannot waste o. Rub your forehead on the spot where it poured.”

“So that broken bottle will injure me abi? You do well.”

“Ehnn. Then we have to buy another one. Did I say we? I meant you o. You’re replacing it.”

“Why? Did I break it?”

“Technically you did. It’s your fault I broke it.”

“You’re not serious. How much is it sef?”


“8k bawo? For this small thing.”

“Yes now. Kayanmata is not cheap.”

“I cannot but this small thing for 8k. God forbid.”

“Ok now. Don’t buy. I will see how you want to seduce Badmus. Oshisco plc.”

“Ahnn now. You buy it now.”

“Because you see mumu written on my forehead abi? Monkey dey work, baboon dey chop. My friend leave this matter first and go and prepare. We are going to the laser clinic this morning.”

“Did you already find one?” I asked eagerly.

“Yes I did. They allow walk in appointments. Only that it’s more expensive than prior appointments.”

“Ohh. Ok. But sorry o, who is taking care of the bills?”

“May you not be unfortunate. What kind of stupid question is that? Is it not you that will pay for your thing before?”

“Sorry na. No vex.”

“Rada rada.” She stood up and went into the bathroom.

“So we’re not going to jog today?”

“No we’re not. Let Badmus miss you small. So that when he sees you tomorrow, he will see a hotter Teni” she mouthed loudly.

“Osheyy.” I shouted.

We got ready and left the house at 8am. As we drove out of the estate, Fayo called her boss and said she was under the weather. He sympathized with her and gave her permission to stay away for the day.

We arrived the clinic in Victoria Island, just in time for the first appointment of the day. I wanted Fayo to be by my side throughout the whole procedure, but the nurse told us that only the patient could see the doctor. She led us to a huge lounge and told Fayo she could wait for me there. The lounge was tastefully furnished with expensive looking leather chairs and frames of different quotes relating to laser procedures and plastic surgeries.

Fayo reassured me and I went in and met the doctor. He was averagely built, clad in scrubs and very cheerful. After exchanging pleasantries and introductions, we got to the business of the day. He asked me what I wanted and I explained everything to him. He told me he could get at most four inches off my waist in one treatment. It was a good idea to me.

He asked me to take off my clothes so he could examine areas of my waist where he was removing the fat from. I was a little shy, but he calmed me down, saying it was just regular procedure and I took of my clothes. While making several markings round my waist, he pinched my sides and said,

“We just need to take out fat from here and here and you’re good to go.”

Then he took my body statistics. My waist was 32 inches and my hip was 44 inches. So after making all the markings, he gave me the price quotation for the procedure. I went to the front desk and made payments after which he called a nurse in to prepare me for the procedure.

Before we started, I called Fayo and gave her an update. She wished me luck and told me she was going to the mall to pick up a few things and would be back before I was done.

In the next three hours, we were done. He measured my waist again and it was 28 inches. My body looked better than I had ever seen it. The skin around my stomach was tighter and my curves were very obvious. I thanked him profusely.

“Not a problem Miss Ayorinde. You’ll have to come in for another procedure in two weeks. We would take out two more inches and get you to a 26.”

“Ok ok. I’ll definitely show up.” I assured him.

“Great then. Have a nice day.”

“Thank you.”

I tucked my shirt into my jeans very well, to make my new body very obvious as I left his office with so much confidence. Fayo exclaimed gleefully as I stepped out and walked towards her,

“Oshey!! Baby girl with the sauce!”

People around began to stare and I quickly hurried to her and dragged her outside.

“Must you tell the whole world that I had fat removal done?” I scolded.

“Abegi. All the people around here already know you came to get your body worked on. So which one are you forming secretive?”

“Iwo lo mo.”

“Girl. You look snatched. Look at that waistline.” She walked round me.

“Badmus is going to hear it. We just need to change your wardrobe and tech you how to apply make up properly.” We got into the car.

“At this rate, I will go bankrupt.”

“Don’t worry. By the time you have Badmus in the bag, money will not be a problem.”

My phone rang and it was Wayas.

“Who is that?” Fayo asked as she drove.


“Don’t pick. Send him a text saying that you’re too busy at the moment.”

I obeyed Fayo and sent him the text message. He replied me in the most uncultured tone.

“He has replied o.” I said to Fayo.

“Read it let me hear.”

“So you’re suddenly to busy to talk to me,and because I asked for a paltry sum of 200k. No problem. Keep it. I hope your next boyfriend can keep up with you and your fat ass because I’m done tolerating you.” I read in the lowest voice.

I was devastated that he could actually break up with me because I didn’t send him money within 24 hours.

“You see. Didn’t I say it? He couldn’t even wait for 24 hours.” Fayo said.

The last thing I needed was Fayo reminding me of her prior warnings. My so called boyfriend had just dumped and all she could say was, ’I told you so?’

When I didn’t reply,she turned to me and touched me lightly on my shoulder,

“Cheer up baby girl. Wayas doesn’t deserve a beautiful, strong and intelligent woman like you.”

“But I love him Fayo. How could he do this?” I started to cry.

“Don’t worry Teni. Don’t beat yourself over it. You didn’t make the mistake, he did. Dry your tears, because we’re going shopping.”

“I don’t feel up to it.”

“Don’t even start that one. Which one os your own? Did I say you should pay for it?”

“Let’s just go home.”

“Go home ke? Baby girl, we have to show that new body off. You should rip your blouse so that we can show our sexy waist to the world.”

I laughed a little.

“Now we’re getting there. Oya clean your eyes and get yourself ready. We have huge work to do.”

“Huge work?”

“Ehnn now. You think changing wardrobe is easy? Look at you. A beautiful woman with a body to die for. Your clothes have to compliment your body and finding the perfect clothes is not beans.”

“It’s kuku your work. Not mine. I’ll only follow you.” I said.

Soon, we arrived our destination. It was one of those upscale boutiques in Lagos where their prices went through the roof. We walked in and looked around the boutique. They had in stock, different designer brands, both local and international. I picked up a few dresses that I liked, but Fayo didn’t like any of them.

“Did I tell you we are looking for dress to go to Shiloh? What is this rubbish?” She said.

“Oya aunty, I give up. Pick the clothes yourself.” I surrendered.


She picked few body con dresses, crop tops, high waisted pants, shorts, denims and some chiffon shirts for me to try on.

“This dress is too short Fayo.” I emerged from the dressing room, pulling down the mini Jae Août dress. I had come across Jae Août on Instagram. It was one of those small Nigerian fashion brands that make simple yet sophisticated clothes. It was one of the loveliest I had ever seen. Easily my favorite in the store, but it was too short.

“Babe. You need to see yourself in the mirror.” She dragged me to the mirror.

I did look great in the dress.

“We’re taking it.” Fayo announced.

I tried on a few other clothes and after arguing and deliberating, we settled for two dresses, on pair of high waisted pants and a pair of denim trousers. Fayo paid for them and we proceeded to leave the boutique.

“Is this all I need to change my wardrobe?” I asked Fayo who was behind me. In a flash, Fayo screamed in confusion,

“Ye ye ye!! Teniola, run!!”

36 Comments on Side Chick Wars- S1E14

  1. Hmmmm who’s that o?? That person must be fierce to make “The Almighty Fayo” so scared. Great episode!!! By the way o,pls what’s the name of the Clinic?? Biko help a sister out. Thank u

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