Side Chick Wars- S1E1

“Either I kill Onome, or she kills me. But one of us has to die on the line” l said to myself. Onome is the most horrible boss ever. Such a nagging and overbearing brat who thinks she has the world at her feet. She wants everyone in HR licking the sole of her feet and worshipping the ground she walks on. Urggghhh.
    My name is Teni. Teniola Ayorinde. I’m 25 years old and I have the most annoying HR job there is in the whole world. My boss, Onome Aburu is the woman behind all my problems. Nothing I do ever seems to please her. She makes me write reports three times over before she is finally satisfied. She queries me for the most stupid reasons and nothing I do ever pleases her. I would have lost my job ages ago with the number of queries I have in my file, but I think Onome enjoys seeing me suffer, so she doesn’t want me fired. She has kept me on one spot since o. Promote me, no, transfer me, no, kuku fire me now, still no.

Sometimes I think she sees me as a competition, but then I look at myself in the mirror and I know it’s not true. I’m not anything close to who Onome is or what she stands to represent. I wear huge thick frames, my make up is always a mess, my clothes are nothing to write home about, my hair is always in a pony tail and my shoes are the worst. Onome on the other hand is the complete opposite of me.

Everything about her is fleeking. Her weaves are from Brazil abi Venezuela sef, with full illusion frontals, and her style, it’s out of this world. Only Onome will match two entirely different prints together and still look like a queen. Her bags, her shoes, jewelry, even her sunglasses are all designers. Let’s not even talk about her perfume. Onome can leave the office at 12pm and her scent will still be lingering at 8am the next morning. Of course you know that’s an exaggeration sha, but you get the point I’m trying to make.

Onome represents something, try hard as I may, I can never become. I forgot to talk about her car. In fact sef, I’m just weak. Why is my life like this? Why can’t I be like Onome? Why does she have all the good things and I have nothing? I have to wake up at 4am everyday so I can get a bus all the way from Agege to Victoria Island. I will get to the bus stop and struggle with everyone to enter bus. I always succeed, but not without my skirt giving way or my white shirt changing color. I’ll get to the office 15 minutes late, looking haggard, and Onome will stroll in behind me, looking fresh from the oven. Sit at her desk, turn on her AC, call me into her office, then give me a query.

To think that we were once very cordial with each other. All of a sudden, our boss resigned, she got promoted and became a bitch. I used to wonder how she got picked for promotion over me. I mean that should be my job. I have been working tirelessly on ten toes in that department and if anyone deserved promotion, it should have been me. It was a mystery how she got that post till Fayo gave me all the gist.

Fayo is my fashionista friend who works in the Accounts department. I don’t know what that one is doing behind a desk because she is not cut out for that life. She should be on the streets of New York or Paris, doing what fashion people do. She told me she would resign from the company as soon as she had saved enough to start her own fashion business. Fayo is the only friend I have in this company. In fact, if I wanted to boast with someone’s name, and give Onome a run for her money, it would be Fayo’s. I mean if my friend is a slay queen, I’m a slay queen too, at least by association.

Apart from being a slay queen, Fayo knows everything that goes on in this company. She has all the gist at her finger tips. She knows who is fucking who and who got fired because of who. It was she who told me that Onome was screwing one of the top executives in the company, Mr Badmus. He was her benefactor and was funding her lavish lifestyle. That’s why she got promoted just like that, without even lifting a finger. I didn’t do anything with this information until today. Today is the last straw. Onome has put her hands in fire and she is definitely going to get burned.