Fayo was waking me up to work out. Me? Work out? How?

Apparently, she had made a gym registration for me at a gym the day before.

“Get up. I registered you at the gym and even got you a personal trainer. We need to get there by 7. So hurry.” She announced as she walked out of the room.
I wiped my face with my palm and stretched my upper body. Then I looked at the wall clock. It was 4:45am. Why in God’s name was Fayo waking me up at 4:45am? When my so called training was at 7am. Mscheww. I laid back on the bed and covered my self with the duvet. The AC was blowing cool air and I wasn’t ready to get out of bed yet.

Fayo walked back into the room and removed my duvet with force. I sat up.

“What is your problem now? It’s still almost two hours to 7am. At least let me sleep well so I can be strong enough to work out.” I lamented.

“Stand up joor. We’re going jogging on the bridge first. Then when we’re done, I’ll drop you off at the gym, come home and prepare for work.” Fayo said.

“Jog ke? Did I tell you I want to disappear? Which one am I jogging before going to the gym?” I cried out.

“Aunty. The jogging is only a warm up for the gym. Besides, you don’t expect me to go jogging alone when you’re here. Kolewerk.”

“You must be mad. What kind of rubbish talk is that? I am not following to jog on any nonsense bridge. Besides, I don’t even have any proper work out clothes. So leave me alone.”

“Not to worry, I took the liberty of getting you some. So stand up let’s go. This is part of the revenge plan now. Get up.” She shook me.

“Oya. I don’t want to revenge again. Leave me. Go and jog alone.” I said.

“Lai lai o. You must revenge. I say get up.” I was taken aback. Fayo looked like she was the one who had been suspended from work. She was taking the matter too seriously.

“Ahnn. Which one is your own inside? Is it you they suspended?” I asked in surprise.

“Teni. My own entered inside the moment you asked me to help you and that’s what I am doing.” Fayo pulled me out of the bed.

I heaved a sigh, went into the bathroom brushed my teeth and came out. Fayo had laid out my gym outfit. She was wearing a sports bra, biker shorts and running shoes. I raised each item of clothing she had set for me.

“Why am I wearing T shirt and leggings while you’re wearing sports bra and biker shorts? You want people to think I am your grandmother abi?” I complained.

“Which one are you complaining for now? It not as if you have the body for it.” She responded.

“Ehnn… you should have at least bought it and waited for me to reject it first.”

“You that I know? So that you claim I want to embarrass you in public, then start carrying face up and down.” I stared at her.

“My friend wear cloth let’s go. It’s already past 5.”

I slowly wore the clothes and was soon ready. I walked closely behind Fayo and inhaled her strong scent as we left the house.

“Are you wearing perfume to jog?” I queried.

“Ehnn na. So I should be smelling anyhow because I want to jog?” She replied.

“Did I say so? It’s only that the scent is so strong and it smells expensive. I am just trying to understand why you’re wasting expensive perfume like this.”

“Perfume oil that I bought for 5k. It’s even designer sef.” She beamed as we entered the car.

“Liar. How can you buy designer perfume for 5k? It must be fake.”

“I said perfume oil, not perfume. I found this page on Instagram, Phoenix perfume oils. They sell the most authentic designer perfume oils. The smell lingers on your clothes for days and they are very affordable too. You should try them.”

“I really should. I’d check them out when I get back.”

“When I come back from work, we need to discuss your new wardrobe.” She chimed.

“Now that we’re on that subject, I want mostly African inspired clothes. You know, sell our heritage.”

“I won’t put it past you. You kuku look like African mother. Sha sha, there’s this instagram store my sister buys from, Rekyehfabrics. They’re quite inexpensive and they sell original fabrics too. Plus they make your life easier by making home deliveries.”


“Yes now. At least people like you don’t have to start walking the length and breath of Balogun to find material.” She said as we entered the car.

I didn’t say anything in reply because I was more focused on how to get through the gym without giving up the ghost.

As we drove out, I looked around Fayo’s estate and for the first time, I appreciated it.

“Maybe renting an apartment here won’t be a bad idea after all. ” I said.

“Shebi I was telling you that time, you refused. Now you’d have to pay through your nose for the place.”

“I don’t understand.”

“The agent that would have helped you is no longer in Lagos. She has moved to Ogun State.”

“We’ll find another agent now.” I said lightly.

“This guy! See, Ibukun is the best there is. She gets the best properties at very affordable rates and she offers you a wide range of options. From buying a land, to renting or buying an apartment,she’s your go to guy. Her service charges are not as exuberant as all these other yeye agents in Lagos. It’s a shame she moved to Ogun.”

“Real shame. We’ll have to find a way round it sha. All I know is, I am getting an apartment there.” I said on a final note.

“Yes madam.”

We were already approaching the link bridge when I asked Fayo,

“Why do we have to drive all the way just to jog? Can’t we jog in the estate?”

“Are you in this Lagos at all? Don’t you know that some of the most eligible bachelors are found on Lekki-Ikoyi link bridge, between 5am and 8am?”

“Ohh… I see where the sports bra and perfume comes in. You want to seduce all the men on the bridge all in the name of jogging. Abi?”

“Use your brain this guy. Keep fit and find husband at the same time. Girls thinking deep.” We laughed.

We got to the link bridge in no time, parked the car in front of a store and started jogging. Lots of other people were jogging on the bridge too. Young, old, tall, short, Caucasians,Indians, name it. There were some girls who were dressed like Fayo. I wondered if they were also looking for eligible bachelors.

Ten minutes later, I started losing my breath. Fayo kept nudging me to keep up with her. For the next five to seven minutes, I managed to keep up with her. Then I started lagging behind, before I finally stopped. I felt like I was going to faint. I reached for my knees and held onto them, while trying to catch my breath. Fayo looked back, noticed I had stopped and walked up to me. She rubbed my back continuously till I was breathing normally again.

“Oya oya, let’s continue.” She urged.

“I am not doing again Fayo. I already feel like I’m going to die. Let’s go home”

“Go home to where? Let’s continue now. No pain, no gain. You need this. We’re fighting a war remember? We have to win our enemy.” Fayo said.

“Win which enemy? Wo, the bible says ‘Forgive your enemies and pray for those who persecute you’. If this is what revenge takes, I would rather forgive. Abeg.” I had given up.

“Ohh. This girl, let’s go now. People are beginning to stare.” She looked around.

“Let them stare. If you want to continue, good luck. I’ll go and wait in the car.” I straightened up and started walking back. Fayo pulled me back.

“Na wa o. Small jogging. If you get to the gym nko? What will now happen? Oya we’ll walk. I’ll hold your hand.” I looked at her reluctantly.

“Let’s go now. Please.” She grabbed my hand and tugged it.

“We’re walking o.” She nodded and we started walking.

“Let’s be fast so we can get you to the gym before 7. I even forgot to get you a waist trainer sef. I’ll get one on my way from work.” She said.

“Fayo, from here, I’m going back home. I’m not going to any gym.”

“So what will happen to the money I paid? You’ll go o.”

“I said I’m not going. Is it by force?” I said sternly.

“Yes it is. We have a target and we have to meet it. Please now. Just go.”

I didn’t respond.

“Please now. Oya, I’ll talk to your trainer. Your workout routine won’t be so hard.” She assured me.

I was still quiet.

“Ahnn now. Oya don’t do it because of the revenge thing. Do it for you. Think about how awesome your body will look at the end. All the bodycon dresses you’ll finally be able to wear. Please please.”

“Well now that you put it like that, it’s beginning to seem like it would be worth it.” I said.

“That’s the spirit girl. So you’ll go?” She asked



“On the condition that my routine will be simple. Deal?”

“Deal.” She smiled. We were almost at the other side of the bridge, so we walked to that end and walked back. Through out our walk, I was fantasizing about all the awesome clothes I could wear with a flat stomach. Then Fayo started yabbing one girl who was jogging with full make up on. We got back to the car and headed straight to the gym.

When we arrived at the gym, Fayo quickly came down from the car. She shut her door and found out that I was still comfortably seated in the car.

“You have started again o. Come out joor.” She opened the door and yelled at me.

As I was stepping out of the car I heard a someone call Fayo.

“Fayokunmi.” It was an all too familiar voice.

54 Comments on Side Chick Wars- S1E9

  1. One has to catch fish.. I don’t blame fayo for trying to look a lil bit extra ojareπŸ˜‚…
    Waiting for the next episode likeπŸ™‡.. Let’s see who owns the familiar voice

  2. Please more😭😭😭😭… i always check your page even though the post notification is on.. i just can’t get enough

  3. You have a very active imagination… Sometimes I wonder if these are stories are true or partially fictional lol… Your ability to keep one glued to the stories is unquestionable… I read one of the posts and I didn’t know when I read all of them, I defitely cant wait for the next one on Friday… Keep it up πŸ‘πŸΎ

  4. Hello Good Morning, My name is Adeboyejo Funmbi. I’m a corp member right now, but I’m about rounding up. I enjoy reading your blog and I like the way you are real about it with the comments, the statements, the way you make the conversations in the story seem like is like our everyday conversation with people around us as Nigerians. I also like the images you use for each episode of the story. keep up the good work and i really hope this blog can be changed to a series.

  5. β€œWin which enemy? Wo, the bible says β€˜Forgive your enemies and pray for those who persecute you’. Dis part killd meπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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