“You haven’t written any new post yet.”
“You’ve been so inconsistent. I’ve been checking your website every day for weeks now.”
“Why did you say you would post twice if you know you can’t keep up?”
The last comment broke me the most, it literally tore my heart to pieces. The mere thought of letting everyone down pierced my soul and hard as I tried to remedy the situation, I couldn’t.
I’ve had to fight a lot of battles with myself to keep this blog moving at snail speed. Thousands of times, I’ve contemplated deleting the blog and just forgetting about it because hard as I tried to make things better, nothing was working. In fact, it was receding. Views were fewer, comments were dropping and followership wasn’t moving either.
I woke up one morning and felt like I was wasting all my effort, it was like I was pouring water on a stone. I asked and asked what the problem was but nobody could give me any tangible answer. Some people said the blog was dry and they weren’t enjoying it again. Others gave no reason in particular. I started a new series, put in old cast, still nothing.
I didn’t almost give up, I actually gave up on it. I told myself that it was no use making effort to create content since no one was reading not to talk of people who didn’t appreciate it and so the writer’s block crept in. Time and time again I tried my best to put pen to paper but nothing was working. I would write and write and it would all be rubbish.
I struggled with it and tried to keep up on here so it wouldn’t be noticed but I couldn’t and nobody was trying to understand why the content wasn’t flowing instead, they were bashing.
I walked back into my shell for days and didn’t make any human interaction with anybody, well except the people I was seeing daily. I didn’t reply messages, I didn’t post, I didn’t read DMs, nothing. I was just waking up every morning and looking at Instagram with no interest in anything in particular. I was mad at myself for not being able to create and even madder at others for not trying to lend a helping hand.
Last week, I had my epiphany and decided that I was going to keep pushing and moving forward. I remembered that I started creating content, not for anyone, but for myself. I told myself that I was going to create content that I liked and anyone who doesn’t like it can decide not to read it.
Moving forward, I am going to try my best to keep up with the blog as promised but I’d like everyone to understand that I have so many other engagements I need to keep up with on a day to day basis. So if I skip one day, please understand that the circumstance could not be avoided and bear with me.
The struggle is very real and it’s not any better for we writers. Writer’s block is a real thing that happens every now and then. It can be very depressing when you can’t get out of even after countless trials. We feed off the energy we get from our readers and if we are not encouraged, it can get worse. So next time to see a writer receding or struggling to create, you can do either of these two things, encourage or not say anything at all.
Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
PS: Like I said, I’m just trying to overcome my issues and I know this write up is a total mess. Kindly bear with me. It will definitely get better, I promise.
Love and light,
The Culture Fit.